How to score at the Republican National Convention.:
- “Tell her that the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge isn’t the only gorgeous, white thing you’d like to see drilled immediately.”
- Warn her that, “No disrespect to W. but if a pretzel makes you gag, then maybe we shouldn’t go up to my room and let loose The Monster.”
- Before sex, spin it as a preemptive strike motivated by an imminent threat of not getting your freak on. After sex, point out that it turned out good, so what the hell is she whining about?