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Actual Email Exchanges With John

Today I’m going to introduce a new feature to this weblog: Actual Email Exchanges With John. These are email exchanges that I have with my DJ partner John while at our day jobs. They come close to the types of conversations we have while DJing. Please don’t hold it against us – we realize we’re incredibly juvenile…

This particular one is from sometime in December 2001. We had been talking about ways to make some money at a party we were throwing… then it devolved into this mess:

John: How about running the coat cheque

Dave: good idea. then we could just sell all the coats after and make a pile of cash.

John: and go through them……I’d like one of those rabbit fur hooker coats……for your mom

Dave: She’d like that. I’d be really interested in finding a new pair of gloves. and maybe one of those Michael-Jackson-Zipper-Jackets… for your mom. ’cause she’s bad.

John: sure….you’re dad can come dressed in his “Boy George” costume or as he likes to call it, “Every Saturday Night by the Docks”outfit

Dave: Actually he’s changed his look… these days he wears a sombrero, a ball gown and a beard of bees.

John: He sounds an awful lot like my Dad……Does he also like to bring the St.John’s Ambulance resusitation doll “Annie” around and call her Queen Mum too?

Dave: oi. I’ve never seen him do that, however he has taken a shine to calling himself Queen Mum… Hey so that was your dad I saw down on Rideau St. last night… he looked kinda agitated – he was chasing after a midget who had apparently stole his idea for a human transporter powered by Kielbasa and cheese.

John: No wasn’t him, my dad had his legs blown off in a methane gas explosion.

Dave: smoking in the outhouse?

John: yeah, but he was inside the “dumping area”, just hanging there and someone floated an air bisquit causing his cigarette to blow off his legs. very tragic.

Dave: uh… inside the dumping area? was he collecting footage for his website?

John: no, he just needed some “me time”. Me being him, not me, understand?

Dave: hmm… does he spend a lot of “me time” in the business section of outhouses? I’m wondering if I’ve seen him before… like at camp.

John: Definitely at camp, but he’s usually in a bear suit, gratifying himself to any kids that happen along.

Dave: Hey! I saw him on David Suzuki’s The Nature of Things! I don’t think David thought it was a suit… he also seemed a little excitable about the whole thing…

John: wouldn’t YOU!!! IT’s DAVID SUZUKI!!! WOO-HOO!!!! I’m surprised he didn’t try to maul him.

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