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Drunken Roommate Chronicles

“I have to work in the morning… what the fuh? what time do I worrrrk tomorrow? fucn I’m gonna kill youss” (begins wrestling with shoes)

“You work at 9:30 tomorrow. That’s what you told me”

“Okayyyyy… I have to set mmy alarm fer… fuckn I’m gonna fucn… okay what time do I work?”

“You work at 9:30… I set your alarm for 8:00”

“yeah, fuck I’m gonna kill you guys… fuck I’m so drunk fuckn I have to work fuck fuckn drunkf …what time do I have to get up?”

“I set your alarm for 8:00… you have to work at 9:30”

“I’m taking my shoes off fuckn… I’m so drunk fuck you guys are so dead fuckfuck what time do I – I have to work in the morning… nin-eight-nineteen-nine-thir-nine-“

“nine thirty… I’ve set your alarm.. do you want some water?”

“no… I got my shoes off!”

Half an our later, upon discovering the bathroom door locked, lights off, no sound from inside:

“Mike, what are you doing in there?”


“Mike, are you going to sleep in the bathroom?”


“Mike, do you want me to turn on the light?”


“Mike, are you ok?”


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