Drunken Roommate Chronicles

“I have to work in the morning… what the fuh? what time do I worrrrk tomorrow? fucn I’m gonna kill youss” (begins wrestling with shoes)

“You work at 9:30 tomorrow. That’s what you told me”

“Okayyyyy… I have to set mmy alarm fer… fuckn I’m gonna fucn… okay what time do I work?”

“You work at 9:30… I set your alarm for 8:00”

“yeah, fuck I’m gonna kill you guys… fuck I’m so drunk fuckn I have to work fuck fuckn drunkf …what time do I have to get up?”

“I set your alarm for 8:00… you have to work at 9:30”

“I’m taking my shoes off fuckn… I’m so drunk fuck you guys are so dead fuckfuck what time do I – I have to work in the morning… nin-eight-nineteen-nine-thir-nine-“

“nine thirty… I’ve set your alarm.. do you want some water?”

“no… I got my shoes off!”

Half an our later, upon discovering the bathroom door locked, lights off, no sound from inside:

“Mike, what are you doing in there?”

“Huh?”

“Mike, are you going to sleep in the bathroom?”

“NO!”

“Mike, do you want me to turn on the light?”

“no…”

“Mike, are you ok?”

“no.”