My Little Phallus “Everybody wants their kids to learn about the birds and the bees – but how to explain those tender subjects? Well, now you can rest assured that your total lack of parenting skills won’t scar your children for life! My Little Phallus introduces a fun and easy way to not only induct your children into the steamy world of sexual activities, but also to give them an entire line of amazing collectable personalities!!”

From the “Defence Strategies That Won’t Fly” files: A truck driver arrested for possession of child pornography insists that he uses the photos to keep him awake during long hauls – apparently they make him so angry that he can’t fall asleep on the road. Hey buddy: Get some methamphetamines and keep your eyes on the road and your hands on the wheel! (via)

Surviving Survivor – Debb Eaton, the first castoff from Survivor II (yes, I’m hooked on the damn show!) must be feeling a world of regret for signing up in the first place… Not only was she the first off the island, now her personal life is all over the tabloids: Apparently, since her husband died three years ago, she has gotten involved in a romantic relationship with her stepson. (Yeesh) She says she was kicked off for refusing to join in an “X-rated” talk with the other contestants. I thought the Hockey Hair was reason enough. (It’s interesting to note that Debb said “Nothing is taboo with Kimmi” in reference to the “x-rated” talk about masturbation. Uhh… You’re banging your stepson and masturbation is taboo???)

Nobody likes to work… this L.A. judge calls it a phobia and takes 400 sick days in 4 years all the while collecting a $122,000 salary. (apparently a portion of those 400 days was spent studying at the Ross University of Medicine in the Caribbean) follow up article here

Bonsai Kitten Lives On! You may remember this site from a while back. Apparently it’s caused a bit o’ controversy… Because of an international protest by cat lovers, the site has been removed from several Web hosts and has attracted the attention of some groups dedicated to the site’s demise. Some people have no sense of humour… the site is obviously a work of satire and anyone who doesn’t get that deserves to be stuffed in a bottle. A couple of days ago this story came to the attention of rotten.com‘s publisher who agreed to host the site, at no charge. Cruel.com has some more information on their site including a list of hosting services that have deleted the site and its’ mirrors, as well as links to organizations that are protesting the site.

Drink your way to $1million This dude won a contest at a local cafe where the prize was unlimited alcohol for a day. After he collected his prize, he says that he got so drunk that he fell and hit his head and is now suing the Cafe for over $1 million. Damn – I can’t believe I never thought of this – with the number of times I’ve fallen down drunk… (via)

Overkill… A man doing remodelling work on a home accidentally cut off his hand with a power saw. Unable to handle the pain of it all, he shot himself at least 12 times in the head with a nail gun to put himself out of his misery. No such luck though, he’s alive in hospital now…