From the ‘What the hell were they thinking?’ file: A public school bus driver and her friend were arrested for persuading a 5-year-old elementary student to urinate in a cup so they could have a clean urine sample for an upcoming drug test. (thanks romenesko)
Month: January 2001
From the ‘Blame Television for all of Society’s Ills Files: – Lawyers for a 13-year-old boy charged with first-degree murder will tell jurors that Professional Wrestling is to blame. Lionel Tate is charged with killing 6-year-old playmate Tiffany Eunick while his mother napped upstairs. The defense argues that the boy was only acting out what he’d seen on television when he pounded her to death. (Her skull had been pounded flat and her liver was so severely lacerated that part of it had been severed – but since he was influenced by television, we should all feel sorry for him) … Once again, where were this kids’ parents? Oh yeah- upstairs napping… When do we start making parents accountable for what they teach (or don’t teach) their kids? Or maybe we really should just ban everything – no more Pokémon or Power Rangers, no more wrestling, Hollywood might as well just close up shop… Might as well go after any subversive literature while we’re at it – that’s what we need: a good old-fashioned book burning and witch hunt!
I saw this report on 48Hours last night – This guy has a severe case of obsessive compulsive disorder and for the last two years has been locked in his parents’ bathroom. I knew a guy once with OCD – it’s a very strange and frightening mental disorder. Even more so because nobody knows what causes it.
Git’ My Name Discover your white trash name! Mine is Buddy Bob Earl Bodine… what’s yours? (thanks Hoodrat!)
Like I need another one… This company will drill a hole in your head. Seriously. (thanks MeFi)
This gives me an idea… When my truck was broken into a few weeks ago, I had wondered if I could get an alarm that would do some serious damage to whoever broke into it next… I love this article – it may be a little extreme to say this, but as far as I’m concerned, I hope those shitfuckers get what they deserve.
Blind Justice? Carey McWilliams of Fargo, North Dakota has a concealed weapons permit from the state… he is blind. “If you choose this blind victim, you might end up dead,” McWilliams said. If you happen to be standing anywhere near this blind victim when he pulls out his gun, you may end up dead.
“Go To Class — It’ a Blast!!!” This grammatically bungled message appeared all over Washington in an attempt by the D.C. Public School System to combat truancy. Apparently what they really need to do is combat incompetence. The full slogan reads: “DC Public Schools Wants You!!! Go To Class — It’ a Blast!!!” Diane Powell, director of student intervention services, said the school system ran several different slogans by students who are frequently absent and they chose this one because they found it ‘catchy’. Uh… catchy? Sorry to break this to you, but I think the kids were fucking with you… (thanks romenesko)